It seems like only yesterday I started watching ‘The X Factor’ and blogging about it. In fact, I remember the exact day ‘The X Factor’ started. It was a Wednesday in September, many months ago. That sounds like the beginning of an amazing novel. (Note to self: write novel and work movie rights into contract.) Back then, there were thousands of people trying out to be the first winner of the show. As of Thursday night, there were only three left. That’s what the voice over at the beginning of the finale said, at least. Then Steve Jones walked out on stage for the last time during season one wearing a really nice tuxedo. Then the judges walked out to Europe’s “The Final Countdown.” Nicole Scherzinger’s hair looked far better than the Swiss Cake Roll mess she was attempting the night before, though Paula Abdul looked like she was a sometime samurai and was probably going to the hibachi table after the show for a little flaming onion. How do they do that? The flaming onion trick at the hibachi is pretty incredible.
To start off the performances, all of the final 12 appeared on stage together again to do a rendition of Lady Gaga’s “The Edge Of Glory.” It’s amazing how in just two months, I’d forgotten about some of the acts. For instance, that group with ten kids, InTENsity? I’d forgotten all about them. The Stereo Hogzz? I’d forgotten about them, too! How quickly the brain allows us to forget things. Lakoda Rayne was looking quite put together as a group. And Drew Ryniewicz had a new hair color. She’s been off the show, what? Three weeks? And she already went from blonde to red? Perhaps she has a Disney show in the works that required her to change hair color. Then the final three walked out on stage and Melanie Amaro blew everyone out of the water. After seeing the 12 acts all perform together once again, it was obvious Melanie had the best voice. Would she win and save Christmas from being canceled? Only 100 minutes to wait!
In the first commercial break, there was some CRAZY Weight Watchers commercial where a heavy Jennifer Hudson sang with skinny Jennifer Hudson. It was crazy. They were singing the same song. I don’t know how they did it. I’ll have to investigate this more.
After the first break, all three remaining acts performed Christmas songs. First up was Melanie, who took on Mariah Carey’s seasonal favorite, “All I Want For Christmas Is You.” I think it was the first time the whole season Melanie sang an upbeat song, and I really liked it. She needs to start doing like club anthems for me to get my dance on to. Her vocals were amazing during the song. She gave Mariah a run for her money. It was amazing. As Steve said, it was “fabulous stuff.” Then the judges got to comment on Melanie one last time. LA Reid told her her voice was “the best friend a song has ever met.” Nicole and Paula talked about how beautiful Melanie was and Simon Cowell told her she was “an absolute pleasure to work with.” Then there was a clip package of people meaningful in Melanie’s life giving her words of inspiration. Melanie burst into tears. It was a good package. Very good for a Christmas show.
With his Christmas song, “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas,” Chris Rene was next. I wish he would have done some Christmas rap song. It would have suited him far better than a holiday ballad. Singing is just not his strong suit. Especially when it’s a song generally reserved for crooners. I’m sure there is some Christmas rap out there he could have found. Sigh. It’s just not the performance I wanted to remember Chris by. But what’s done is done. The judges really didn’t judge anything about the performance. They all just told Chris how great it was he was on the show and how much of an inspiration to other people he was. Then Chris got a meaningful people package from Santa Cruz, California. He cried when his son was on screen, so it was nice to see Chris get emotional.
Finishing up the Christmas round was Josh Krajcik. He sang his version of The Eagles’ “Bells Will Be Ringing.” His voice and performance were very soulfully done. However, there was some creepy woman in a snow globe spinning around Josh the whole time. It was kind of distracting. And how was she breathing in there? I hope there was an oxygen source. And how do I get a human snow globe? The judges once again had their say about Josh. Simon told him he was glad they had the over 30 category because you can’t “put a cap age on talent.” Nicole told Josh she “appreciated him.” That’s one of my least favorite things people ever say. “I appreciate you.” Why don’t you just kick me in the face, too. I’d appreciate that. Josh also got his meaningful people package from Wooster, Ohio. He made it through without crying until his daughter told him how much he meant to her. Then Josh asked Steve, “What is this liquid coming out of my eyes?” It’s called tears, Josh. Unless you have a cold. Then you need to see a doctor.
Thus ended the Christmas round. Or did it? Kind of. Except there was a celebrity performance to suffer through. From Justin Bieber. Ugh. Where is the remote? I can’t work my parents’ new TV. Therefore, I had to suffer through The Biebs. He first sang “The Christmas Song.” Once again. If you can’t sing ballads, then don’t. Also: I now know where the old wardrobe from the set of ‘The Golden Girls’ went to. Justin Bieber’s closet. It looks like he had an old jacket from Blanche Devereaux’s wardrobe re-tailored for him. All that was missing was a shoulder pad or two. It wasn’t a good look for Justin. Selena Gomez can do better. So, Justin sang. Then Stevie Wonder came out and played the piano, sang and then busted out the harmonica. I have NO IDEA WHATSOEVER as to what Stevie Wonder and Justin Bieber have in common. It’s just a good thing Stevie couldn’t see what Justin was wearing. He would have turned right around and walked off the stage. Or thrown the harmonica at Justin’s head. After Stevie, Justin broke into a Jackson 5 remix of “Santa Claus Is Comin’ To Town.” Does this kid know he’s not a Jackson? Blah. To round it all off, Drew came out on stage to sing with Justin. Let’s remember: Drew LOVES HER SOME BIEBER. Selena Gomez was probably standing nearby with a taser. You know. Just in case Drew got a little handsy with her man.
After that hot mess, it was time for the first results. Who came in third place? Chris Rene. So far, America remembered how to vote. Good job, America.
Following a memorable moments package, Leona Lewis appeared to sing her version of Snow Patrol’s “Run.” I’m pretty sure she released the song like two years ago, but that’s okay. She’s still an amazing vocalist, and it was nice to hear her and watch her sing live again. I’ve missed me some Leona action. While Leona sang, memorable clips from the season played behind her. I didn’t really pay attention to any of those. I was busy thinking about how Leona needs a hot comeback ASAP. She did win ‘The X Factor’ in the United Kingdom, so she knows a little something about having the X factor.
Then there was a package about Simon fighting with LA. This led into a live performance from 50 Cent. Where has he been? I haven’t seen him since he and Lil’ Kim rapped about the magic stick. Fiddy Cent performed his latest single, “Wait Until Tonight.” And wow. The song was dirtier than Christina Aguilera’s make up removal washcloth. There was so much bleeping going on that I couldn’t make out what 50 was saying. At all. Then there was a girl rolling around in a bathtub. I guess it was performance art. Maybe. Luckily, 50 transitioned into “In Da Club,” which was regrettably cleaned up for network television. What? Now you can’t rap the words “sex” or “Bacardi” on national television? Why did Elmo and Cookie Monster not just come out and perform “In Da Club?” Lame. Members of the LA Lakers also danced to the song, which I didn’t care about. Why do I care about the Lakers? Oh yeah. I don’t. Then Astro came out to rap with 50. They should have just thrown him in the bathtub and wheeled it away.
After yet another hot mess of a performance, we saw a package about how many times Paula and Nicole cried during the season. It was a lot. However, they were given something to shed tears of joy about when Pitbull came on stage to perform! I LOVE PITBULL! He started with his latest single, “International Love.” The song is supposed to feature Chris Brown, but I’m guessing Chris Brown isn’t allowed within 500 miles of ‘The X Factor’ studios. That’s because it’s Rihanna territory. Stay away, Chris, or Selena Gomez will use her taser on you, too! Luckily, there wouldn’t have been much time for Chris Brown to sing because Pitbull quickly segued into “Give Me Everything” featuring Ne-Yo. Regrettably, Nayer wasn’t there, too. She sometimes sings on the song with the two of them. And she has a penchant for red jumpsuits. She also has a big butt. I know. I’ve seen it in person. Toward the end of the song, Marcus Canty took over the chorus from Ne-Yo. Why did he get to participate? He is nowhere near the level of Pitbull. And why did he have on leather pants? Lame-o. Pitbull is too good for that.
Tired of performances yet? Too bad. There was one more. Josh and Melanie had to sing once more as contestants. They did a duet of Davie Bowie’s “Heroes.” I’m pretty sure I had never heard the song before. I do know, however, that ‘The X Factor’ finalists in the United Kingdom released the song as a charity single. I guess once you’ve secured the rights to perform the song live in one country, it’s cheaper to just throw it across the ocean than to secure the rights to another song. That’s called saving money. Josh and Melanie were good together. I was just ready for the winner to be announced.
Luckily, I didn’t have to wait that much longer. After the final break, the winner was announced. Who was it? Melanie of course! Christmas did not have to be canceled after all! Melanie’s family rushed the stage. Then producers made her sing once more. How she sang through all her tears, I will never know, but it was pretty impressive.
Thus ended the first season of ‘The X Factor.’ I think the show needed someone amazing like Melanie to win, just so there’s excitement building up to season two. Up next? American Idol. Will I watch? It’s yet to be determined. I do love Jennifer Lopez, but I don’t know if I want to make that time commitment. We shall see.