It was that time again Wednesday night. Time for another live performance show from the remaining acts on ‘The X Factor.’ This week’s theme? Movie night. Which left me to wonder if anyone would bust out such amazing movie songs as “Bidi Bidi Bom Bom” from Selena, “Bop To The Top” from High School Musical, or even “The Lonely Goatherd” from The Sound Of Music. I would have also accepted any song from the Spice World soundtrack. Sadly, none of these dream songs came true. But imagine the staging for “The Lonely Goatherd.” Yeah. Think about it. It would best be described with one word: EPIC.
Before the performances even got going, Nicole Scherzinger warned us that her contestants were going to “bring it.” I also questioned why I will never look as good in a suit as Steve Jones (I can’t afford designer suits and a good tailor, and I am not a former model), and the judges walked out to the Star Wars theme. All that was missing was an Ewok. Then we found out that the contestants were treated to a movie premiere this week. The movie choice? Adam Sandler’s new movie, Jack & Jill. Really, ‘X Factor?’ You couldn’t spring for a good movie premiere? Jane Seymour was on the red carpet. I imagine she tried to sell all the contestants her Open Hearts Jewelry Collection, which I can paint a picture of just like Jane does in the commercials for it. “Because with my Open Hearts Jewelry Collection,” blah, blah, blah. I don’t know what Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman had to do with ‘The X Factor,’ but I guess some questions are better left unanswered. So many questions for the first ten minutes of the show! Also, I am pretty sure Steve said, “Glamorous!” like he was trying out to be a contestant on ‘RuPaul’s Drag Race.’ Just an observation. After all that, it was time to get the performances rolling.
First up? Stacy Francis. Stacy’s song came from The Bodyguard, and mentor Nicole wanted it to be a “big diva number.” This diva number included dancing, which concerned Stacy. It would have concerned me, too, because a big diva number requires big diva heels, and that is NOT GOING TO HAPPEN for me. So, I felt Stacy’s pain. Now, when I think about songs from The Bodyguard, the one Stacy sang isn’t the first to come to mind. It’s not even the second. In fact, I forgot the song was even from the movie. The song I am talking about is “Queen Of The Night,” which LA Reid co-wrote. LA even said he didn’t like the song. Oh, boy. Anyway, Stacy came out on the stage and was looking fantastic in her red dress. It was made for a pure diva moment. I thought it was a really good performance overall. The dancing was all right and her voice was spot on most of the time. Sure, there were some shaky notes, but she did have to go first. That first spot is a killer. The judges all liked it, although Simon Cowell thought Nicole had combined Stacy and Paula Abdul into one person. I guess it was supposed to be an insult, but if I were combined with Paula, it would be amazing, so I took it as a compliment. Regardless of Simon, Stacy was a great way to start the show.
Second on stage was the Jason Derulo-esque Marcus Canty. Marcus talked about how he didn’t want to mow lawns anymore and how he would break his legs performing to get where he needed to be. However, this week, Marcus did not dance, so I guess his legs may have been broken, which would be a real shame. I’ve come to love Marcus’ swanky moves. LA selected “I’m Goin’ Down” for Marcus from the 1977 movie, Carwash. First of all, I only know one song from that movie, which is the title track. Also, I didn’t know Mary J. Blige didn’t sing “I’m Goin’ Down” first. Hmm. (Insert NBC’s “The More You Know” music here.) I thought Marcus did an all right job with the song, though it was not up to par with Jazzlyn Little’s version when she sang it for her original audition. Also, Marcus was wearing a really distracting sparkly silver jacket, that he had trouble taking off halfway through the song. It was like he was busting out of a disco ball. Which is a move best left to the experienced, like Kathie Lee Gifford, or someone similarly festive. The judges couldn’t say enough great things about Marcus. I guess positive feedback is a good thing, but he wasn’t THAT great. Good? Yes. Great? No.
Up next was Simon’s first contestant of the night, 14-year-old Drew (Ryniewicz). One of these days I will just call her Drew, but I am not ready to drop the Ryniewicz yet. I just can’t bring myself to do it. In her introduction package, we learned there are only nine kids in Drew’s school class at home? What? Only nine? Where does she go to school? The Oklahoma panhandle? No? That’s just how many kids are in her grade? Insanity. Then Drew came out on stage wearing a disgusting dress and sang a version of Coldplay’s “Fix You,” which was apparently included on the You, Me And Dupree soundtrack. Having never seen that movie, I cannot vouch for the accuracy of this claim. However, I can vouch for the claim that Cyndi Lauper helped dress Drew in the dark. We later learned that Drew designed the dress herself, which made me feel moderately bad for calling it disgusting, but not bad enough to leave it out of the blog. But, enough of the dress. I absolutely LOVED Drew’s version of “Fix You.” I will openly admit I cried. Her voice was so tender during it, and it’s the second time in the past few weeks I’ve heard the song and cried. Perhaps I do have emotions after all, as evidenced by my crying not one, not two, but seven times during Tuesday night’s watching of Love Actually. Should I admit that? Probably not. But look! There is a softer side of Josh, after all. Don’t tell anyone. I don’t want to lose my reputation. Nicole and Paula loved Drew’s performance while LA told her she needed to start performing something different. I wanted to tell LA to shut up, but that would require yelling at the television, and I was too busy stopping my fountain of tears to yell. Final line on Drew? Ugly dress, AMAZING performance. Next!
Would LeRoy Bell fall into the ugly dress disaster category, too? No. LeRoy managed to fall into my powerful and poignant category. Nicole wanted LeRoy to be LeRoy this week, whatever that means. So they decided he should sing U2’s “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For,” from Runaway Bride. LeRoy’s vocals were spot on and he just made me feel it. I loved the song choice and the staging. And I loved LeRoy after hearing him sing it. Simon claimed the song was LeRoy’s best performance ever while Nicole told LeRoy he “took us to church.” Wait a minute. Didn’t Stacy take us to church last week? Is that Nicole’s schtick? To take us to church every week? If so, I’d like someone to sing “Go Tell It On The Mountain,” preferably the Dolly Parton version from her 1990 Christmas special. Why that version? Because it’s awesome. I’m going to tweet Nicole to have her get on that.
After LeRoy, I wondered if my tears would subside for an act. The quick answer: no, they would not. Why? Because Lakoda Rayne and Paula decided it would be a good idea to sing Keith Urban’s “Someone Like You.” I forgot it was on the soundtrack for How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days until Paula reminded me it was. Now, why would this song make me lose it, too? Because I think it’s one of the ultimate love songs. Imagine someone singing the chorus to you. “I wanna love somebody, love somebody like you.” It’s just about the best for me. Paula also said she picked the song because it’s a little bit country and a little bit pop. She laid the smackdown on LA with it, basically, since he complains that the girls need to pick one genre and stick with it. So, Lakoda Rayne sang, I cried and ended up deciding that I am pretty much in love with them. Maybe it’s just because they sang my ultimate love song, but still, they are pretty awesome. I voted for them ten times according to my phone’s call log. Obsessed much? A little. The judges commented on how Lakoda Rayne’s chemistry is coming together, which I completely agree with. From the time they were put together to now, they have grown leaps and bounds. I’m officially a groupie.
Sixth to perform took us back to LA’s boys with a song by Astro. Finally, I would get a break from my emotional explosion. No tears would fall for Astro, so I had a brief moment of singing Barbra Streisand and Donna Summer’s hit duet “No More Tears (Enough Is Enough)” and powered on. (Imagine watching ‘The X Factor’ with me. It’s a pretty amazing full-sensory experience.) Interestingly enough, I wasn’t far off base with my mixing of Barbra Streisand with Astro. His song choice was Eminem’s “Lose Yourself” from 8 Mile, which won the Academy Award for Best Original Song. The presenter of that award to Eminem? Barbra Streisand. Oh yes. I remembered that without the aid of Wikipedia. I would have been trapped in a Wikipedia hole forever by mixing Barbra and Eminem. Anyway. I was glad I remembered that because I also remembered how much I hate “Lose Yourself,” which by default made me really NOT like Astro’s performance. Also the fact that he calls his fans “astronauts” is a huge turn off. Gag me with a spoon. I guess he can write some pretty amazing raps, but I’m just not a fan. The judges all oohed and awed over Astro while I tuned them out and practiced my “No More Tears” high note. I had to do something to tune out the positivity spewed toward Astro.
Next on stage was Melanie Amaro. Now, Lakoda Rayne comes second in my world to Melanie. To me, she is the Kylie Minogue of ‘The X Factor,’ which means I would drive 9 hours to see her in concert. Yes. I love her that much. However, I was very concerned during her intro package because Melanie was sick! She was placed on vocal rest! No! No! No! Would she sing?!?! I was getting nervous. But then she stepped on stage and belted out the best version of Michael Jackson’s “Man In The Mirror” (from his movie, This Is It) I had ever heard. Melanie just has the X factor as far as I am concerned. Her voice is perfection. However, I did scream at the TV when LA claimed she was uninventive and kept singing the same song week after week. I think he’s just jealous because he knows his acts can’t keep up with her. Simon dropped a British phrase for Melanie’s performance, “bloody fantastic.” I couldn’t have agreed more.
Eighth to perform was one of last week’s bottom two, The Stereo Hogzz. Now, I was mighty confused by their performance this week. Why? Because they sang a version of Christina Aguilera’s “Ain’t No Other Man.” Anyone who knows me will tell you I love me some Xtina. And it just happens that third to “Come On Over Baby (All I Want Is You)” and “Dirrty,” “Ain’t No Other Man” is my favorite Christina Aguilera song. I was also mighty confused that the song was featured on the Get Smart soundtrack. Anyway, the main problem with The Stereo Hogzz taking on a XTina song is that people who can’t sing well really shouldn’t sing her songs. Some of us (shouldn’t openly admit this) can do a really good Christina vocal run while in the car on Kansas City’s Broadway Bridge. Others of us (The Stereo Hogzz) struggle to stay on pitch. I will give them props for being impeccably dressed. They were styled amazingly and looked great in their old-school get-ups and staging. The whole performance was good and the vocals did get better as the song went along, but I think that’s because only one of the five really sings. LA claimed to not know the song at all. Really, LA? Have you ever listened to a song after Toni Braxton stopped having hits? Because this song was HUGE back in the day. Nicole claimed The Stereo Hogzz were bananas, which led Simon to tell her that her commentary was really digging deep. I would agree with Nicole, though, the staging was pretty bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S, even.
After the break, we were treated to Steve tossing to Nicole to introduce her next act. However, Nicole was not even close to paying attention. Paula had to jump out of the shot so Nicole could introduce Josh Krajcik. In his package, we learned there is now a Krajcik burrito at the burrito place Josh used to work. I also learned this week that Josh is trying to quit smoking and drinking as much because it’s causing problems for his voice. Where did I learn this? The reputable news organization known as TMZ. Nicole picked what may have been the best movie song for Josh to sing. She picked Joe Cocker’s “With A Little Help From My Friends” from Across The Universe. I had never really noticed it before, but Josh sounds almost exactly like Joe Cocker. In order to prove this case, I will need Josh to sing a duet with Jennifer Warnes. Then I will know for sure. All the judges, except Simon, were very complimentary of Josh’s performance. Simon thought it was like Frankenstein and his Brides, which lead Nicole to exclaim, “Don’t hate! Congratulate!” Where does she get these? Is someone writing quick quips for her and pumping them into an earpiece? Because anyone who is writing these for her needs to be my best friend. It’s a whole lot of awesome quotes from Nicole every time she talks. Then Josh wasn’t allowed to respond to the judges because he’s on vocal rest. Perhaps TMZ is correct.
I was kind of worried by the penultimate performance because Chris Rene is usually a little hit and miss. I was even more worried when I learned he would be performing his own version of Coolio’s “Gangsta’s Paradise” from Dangerous Minds. This led me to wonder what ever happened to Coolio and if anyone remembered Weird Al’s spoof, “Amish Paradise.” After my wondering was complete, Chris started to rap and sing, and I was pleasantly surprised. His singing was far better than it has been the whole season. Chris’ rapping was also surprisingly well done. I couldn’t have agreed more with Simon when he said, “Chris Rene is back.” I’m now no longer sure Chris is destined to be one of the earliest to get kicked off the show.
Rounding out movie night was 14-year-old Rachel Crow. Simon owned up to not working with her as well as he should have. And as a sign of faith in Rachel, he let her pick the song she would sing. Simon claimed a big surprise was coming when Rachel took the stage, and he was right. But first, we had to meet Rachel’s mom. We learned Rachel was adopted and was a really cute baby. Her mom also said she told Rachel that the two were soul mates, but it just took them awhile to find each other, which I thought was incredibly sweet. After all that, Rachel started singing Etta James’ “I’d Rather Go Blind,” which was also performed by Beyonce in Cadillac Records. And OMG. Yes. I just dropped in an OMG. Rachel was amazing. She sang like she’d had her heart broken 20 times before. Keep in mind she’s only 14. Rachel was absolutely, positively phenomenal. I will admit I gave her a standing ovation in my living room. Sometimes, you’re just moved to stand and clap when no one else is around. When Simon said Rachel’s performance was a game changer, he was so right.
So. There’s your recap of all eleven performances. There weren’t any really bad standouts, though I’m afraid The Stereo Hogzz and Stacy Francis might land in the bottom two. I don’t want to say Stacy will, but she wasn’t as great as she has been in past weeks, and there were just too many stellar acts on the show for Movie Night. I think The Stereo Hogzz will ultimately get eliminated, but we will have to see what happens when the elimination show airs Thursday night on Fox.