The theme for the night of the top 10 performances on ‘The X Factor’ was rock. Judging by the class of the dancers who ushered Steve Jones onto the stage, the theme was going to be loosely followed at best. Let’s just say they were probably dancers who got their start as groupies for Whitesnake and ended up as Pussycat Dolls rejects. So, Steve comes out on the stage and informs us it’s rock night. Then the judges are introduced and walk out to Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ On A Prayer.” Now there’s a good rock song! Nicole Scherzinger is introduced and looks like she took the rock week theme a little too literally. She’s missing a sleeve and looks like a raccoon did her makeup. DARK EYESHADOW ALERT!!! Then Steve made a big deal about Paula Abdul only having one group left. Which he continued to do throughout the show. Paula is probably already in a relatively fragile state, Steve. So sure. Let’s provoke her and bring out nutso Paula. Seems like a good idea to me. After all that, it was finally time to get to the contestants.
First to take on rock night was Nicole’s oldest contestant, LeRoy Bell. Now, LeRoy doesn’t exactly strike me as the type who rocks out on a regular basis. Was I incorrect in this assumption? Not at all. During the introduction package, we learned that LeRoy thought he had to “bring it more this week” and that he likes his mentor, Nicole, because “she doesn’t speak in a high brow way.” Is that his way of saying she’s kind of stupid? Because if so, that’s my new favorite phrase. Let’s test it out: “Well, I really like Britney Spears because she isn’t too high brow.” Yep. It will work on so many levels. When LeRoy started singing, he performed a version of “We’ve Got Tonight” by Bob Seger and The Silver Bullet Band. While it was a fully competent and decent performance, LeRoy did not rock it at all, and was pretty much the same as he has been every week before now. Don’t get me wrong, I still think LeRoy is a great singer, but he never really pushes it as hard as I think he should. He really needs to push it, push it real good, if he makes it to next week to prove he has what it takes to win ‘The X Factor.’ The judges thought LeRoy was all right, but nothing beyond just okay. The worst comment came from Simon Cowell when he told LeRoy, “Right now, you can’t win.” Steve pounced on it and asked LeRoy how he felt about “such horrible comments.” LeRoy failed to talk back to Simon. Sigh. It was his chance to give me the attitude I want! Massive fail.
Second up was one of last week’s standout performers, 14-year-old Rachel Crow. When mentor Simon introduced her, he couldn’t remember Rachel’s hometown, which I found kind of hilarious. Smooth move, Simon. During her introduction package, we did find out that Simon is actually pretty nice when he’s not judging and seems to be somewhat caring toward the girls in his category. If there’s one upside to ‘X Factor’ over ‘American Idol,’ it’s that we get to see the softer side of Simon every now and then. Rachel’s song choice for the week was The Rolling Stones’ “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction,” which I am not entirely sure is appropriate for a 14-year-old to be singing. Mainly because the version I know best was performed by 80s singer Samantha Fox. If you aren’t familiar with Samantha Fox, I strongly suggest a little Wikipedia break to brush up on my random pop culture references. Anyway, I just think the song is a little mature for a young girl to be singing. Having said that, Rachel did infuse her trademark soul into the song and was very cute moving around the stage. But that’s about all she brought this week: cute. Sure, she was good. But it wasn’t her best performance by a long way. After tearing up “I’d Rather Be Blind” last week, I guess the bar has been set, and I don’t think Rachel really met the bar this week. She was still fantastic and won’t be in the bottom two, but she was just off a little. The judges all loved her and told her they were proud of her. Then Nicole gave us a brief history lesson on rock and roll, which wasn’t a high brow explanation at all. Ah, Nicole. Perhaps she missed her calling as a history teacher. Those kids would be ready for the Ivy League for sure.
Rock week took an odd turn after Rachel with LA Reid’s first mentee of the night, Chris Rene. During his package, Chris told us more about his Mom and growing up. He talked about how she would always put in Bob Marley tapes in the car and about how Bob Marley was one of his biggest inspirations. So, it was rock week. Why not do what makes perfect sense and sing Bob Marley’s “No Woman, No Cry.” Because when I think rock song, that’s the first song that comes to mind. Obviously. That and “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.” Both incredible ROCK songs, right? No. Not even close. LA invited us to “watch what happens” when Chris takes the stage. I’m sure those three words got Andy Cohen on the phone with his lawyers to sue ‘The X Factor’ because that is clearly Bravo’s channel tag line. LA ripped it off with no apologies. Beyond a possible lawsuit, I did watch what happened with Chris Rene. He looked cleaner than normal, was dressed better than normal, and also performed better than normal. Did he bring a rock and roll performance to the stage? No. But he did bring a performance he should be proud of. Nicole was confused by it, Paula liked it and Simon said it would have been great had the week’s theme been reggae. I completely agreed with Simon. Chris was pretty good, and had it been any other week, I would have said he was great, but it was rock week. He needed to do a ROCK song, not a reggae song. Regardless of any of that, it probably was his best performance thus far, even though I think he copped out by not doing flat out rock.
Next up was another of Nicole’s singers, Stacy Francis. Nicole informed us that Stacy “is not your stereotypical rock singer.” If there’s one thing Nicole does best, it’s state the obvious. I was concerned about what Stacy would sing for rock week, and after hearing her choice, was still a little concerned. She chose “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now,” originally performed by Meatloaf. But let’s face it: how many of you knew that song was originally done by Meatloaf? You’re probably much more familiar with the version by the world’s favorite wild rocker chick, Celine Dion. So the song automatically hindered Stacy from fully rocking out. At best, she could have soft rocked out, which she didn’t really do. Something just seemed really off with Stacy’s performance this week. She wasn’t on key through most of the song. Then there was a high note toward the end that was a controlled yell at best. It was a note, I’m just not exactly sure what note it was. Perhaps Stacy is beyond her years and created a note no one has ever heard before. After the high note, there was also a wind machine disaster that made me feel like I was watching a Swedish song competition from 1990. There’s another random pop culture reference: the Swedes are well known for their use of wind machines during their yearly song competition, ‘Melodifestivalen.’ If you’d like to see the wind machine in full effect, look up Carola’s “Evighet” from the 2006 Melodifestivalen Final on YouTube. Wind machine madness in that song. Back to Stacy now. Simon even commented on how horrible the wind machine was. And how horrible the song choice was for Stacy. The other judges weren’t so nice with their comments, either, with Paula saying it was her least favorite Stacy performance to date. Stacy looked like she was about to shank someone when all was said and done. I’m glad I wasn’t backstage after that. It would have been SCARY.
Rounding out the first half of the show was Melanie Amaro. Her song choice for the week was REM’s “Everybody Hurts.” Before she sang, Melanie talked about how she’s from the British Virgin Islands and moved to Miami with her family to have a better life. We also learned that LA thought Melanie was going to have a problem with rock week because “How do you say Melanie and edgy in the same sentence?” LA’s pondering was one my friend Andrew could not pass up answering. He said, “Melanie is NOT edgy. Complete success. Hard challenge, LA Reid.” Andrew did defeat LA’s question. Pretty easily, too. We’ll see what mindbender LA comes up with for Andrew next week. After all that went on, Melanie finally started to sing. Once again, it wasn’t really a rock performance. It was a rock song, which Melanie absolutely tore up, but I’m not sure it fit with the theme. However, because of how incredible she was, I’m going to give her a pass. The performance was strictly Melanie and piano, and it was SOOOOOOOO good. Like soul stirringly good. The judges’ comments were a mixed bag, though. LA was mad because it wasn’t rock, Nicole was confused because she didn’t cry, Paula thought Melanie took us to church, and Simon compared her to Adele and Alicia Keys. I’d tend to lean more toward Paula and Simon’s critiques. Mainly because Nicole seemed like she hit the Franzia a little hard before she took her judges’ seat, and I think LA has just started being mean for the sake of being mean.
Starting off the second half of the show was burrito-maker Josh Krajcik. Josh talked about how hard it has been to become a successful musician, and how he knew if he had the chance, he’s make it. Josh is completely likable and a great singer, he’s just not one of my favorites. However, he’s the only one on rock night who actually took the theme and stuck with it. He took on The Foo Fighters’ “The Pretender” and really did rock it out. During his performance, the cameras kept showing shots of Nicole whipping her hair back and forth and looking completely nuts. PUT DOWN THE FRANZIA, GIRLFRIEND! Judging by her reaction, Nicole thought Josh rocked it, too. But…I don’t think the song forced him to show much vocal range. He seemed stuck in the same two or three notes and thought growling them could get him through to the next week. That strategy will likely land him safe, but I just wasn’t feeling his performance as a whole. I’m kind of over Josh, to be frank. There are contestants on the show I like better and would actually vote for. I’m sure he will stick around a few more weeks, but I think he needs to up his game. The judges all LOVED Josh, though. Simon whipped out his phrase du jour, “bloody fantastic,” again and that was that on Josh.
Seventh to perform was probably the least likely performer to rock it out left on the show. Why? Because he’s a 14-year-old rapper, and I don’t really mix rap and rock, unless we are talking about “Walk This Way,” which is a really good mix of rock and rap. During his package, Astro talked about how he misses his mom and is in Los Angeles with his “Step Pops.” Who says that? Step Pops? Ugh. Add that to the list of things that irk me about Astro. Also irking? The fact that he said the next time he sees his Mom, he will be $5 million richer. Not if I have anything to do with it, Astro. You aren’t Melanie Amaro, so you won’t be getting my $5 million vote. LA and Astro decided the perfect rock week song for him would be Puff Daddy’s “I’ll Be Missing You.” Once again, Puff Daddy and the Police aren’t necessarily the first people who come to mind when I think rock, but Astro’s performance kind of worked. He can freestyle incredibly well. I can’t knock him for his rap skills. It’s just his ego I have a problem with. Plus the fact that ‘The X Factor’ is kind of a singing competition, and rap just has no place in it. At the end of his song, Astro yelled, “I miss you hip-hop.” I was like, whaaaat? Where did hip-hop go? Did it disappear? I don’t remember it going anywhere. No one asked where hip-hop went, so I had to move on. The judges all seemed to love Astro again, which I couldn’t necessarily disagree with. He was good, but just not something I’d ever vote for.
Eighth was Paula’s only remaining act, Lakoda Rayne. In case you didn’t remember by this point, they are Paula’s ONLY remaining act. Like one left. Uno. Ein. Yes, Steve Jones, we got it. Leave Paula alone or she’s going to cry. During their package, I found out that one of the Lakoda Rayne members, Dani, is originally from South Africa. Her parents moved her to Los Angeles to give her a chance at Hollywood stardom. This discovery led me to wonder where her accent is. Next to the Australian accent, I find the South African accent to be one of the sexiest in the world, so I really wouldn’t have minded hearing her do a little South African talk, which did not happen. Highly disappointing. Then again, I’ve never heard Charlize Theron, arguably the world’s most famous South African celebrity, do her accent either, so maybe they are just REALLY good at American accents and never slip up. After my South African discovery, Lakoda Rayne started to sing and did a mash-up of The Outfield’s “Use Your Love” and Fleetwood Mac’s “Go Your Own Way.” And I must say, I thought the girls rocked it out. Like rocked it hard. They were vocally strong, had an amazing stage presence and were just all around good this week. It’s a performance I’ll definitely watch several more times. Did the judges agree? No. LA thought they were better than last week, but still not ready to win. Nicole liked it, but Simon thought it was a complete mess. I think America will vote for them, because we have a soft spot in our hearts for Paula, but I think Simon’s comments may have hurt the group. I think he was just being mean for the sake of being mean because I thought they were really good. But what do I know? I’m not getting paid millions to share my opinion.
The next to last act to perform was the other 14-year-old in the competition, Drew Ryniewicz. Before she sang, we found out that in addition to rehearsing every week, the younger contestants much also go to 3-hours of school a day. I guess it is the school year and there are child labor laws, so I can’t say too much about that. Learning is important. Nicki Minaj wants kids to stay in school, and as the world’s best role model, I think it’s important for children to listen to what she says. So if Nicki says stay in school, I recommend it, too. So, thank you, ‘X Factor,’ for also showing us that kids should stay in school. After taking us through her school day, Drew started to sing and selected U2’s “With Or Without You” for rock week. Yet again, it was a case of been there, done that. It was the same song I’ve heard Drew sing every week. It was like she took the song, turned it into an Enya remix, and sang it. I was bored before she even started to sing and was more focused on trying to figure out what she was wearing. Was it a lederhosen/vest combo thing? Who knows. Back to Drew’s singing. I just want her to loosen up and not sing the same old emo song week after week. Nicole and Paula seemed to agree with me and said Drew needs to start showing diversity. LA told her to do her and Simon told her not to listen to the three witches because she’s staying true to who she is. Yes, Drew is staying true to who she is, but I think she needs to do something completely out of left field. Like sing “Jenny From The Block,” or something totally unexpected.
Because it was random and way into the weird category, before the final commercial break, we learned Nicole loves rock and roll. She stood up, yelled it and told us so. Apparently the Franzia box was running dry by this point and Nicole was feelin’ good.
The final rock week performance came from LA’s category and Marcus Canty. He took on Janis Joplin’s “Piece Of My Heart” with several scantily clad dancers. Apparently, Marcus is a “good boy” and took issue with the clothing the dancers were wearing. However, it looked like producers played the upper hand and told him the dancers would wear what they wanted them to. And Marcus seemed to not have a problem with that because during part of his song, he crawled between several of the dancers’ legs. Because that’s what good boys do. Writhe on the floor underneath 8 dancers’ legs. It’s a ‘Sesame Street’ lesson in the making. Marcus’ singing was decent, though I felt like it was a performance likely to appear in a less high brow cabaret. The only things missing from the whole thing were a pole and a cameo appearance by Burt Reynolds. Also, Marcus’ fashion taste is questionable, as his jacket looked like something LaToya Jackson got for free and threw out because it wasn’t even good enough for her to wear with her sailor hat. Yeah. It was that bad. I didn’t find the whole performance to be Marcus’ best (I prefer Faith Hill’s version of “Piece Of My Heart” to his), but the judges disagreed with me once again. And that’s why they get paid the big bucks. Marcus won’t be voted off anytime soon, I just want him to stick to what he does best: Jason Derulo impersonations.
So, that was rock night. There were a lot of liberties taken with the theme, which I don’t think was necessary. Paula said it best when she said, “I think we have these theme weeks so you guys can show diversity.” I didn’t see much diversity shown from previous weeks in any of the acts. So maybe the next theme week will prove to be a bigger game changer. I think the bottom two will likely be LeRoy and Stacy. Lakoda Rayne and Chris could also fall into the bottom two, but we’ll have to tune in to the results show to find out what happens.