After weeks of auditions, judges’ homes and poor selections (Caitlin Koch, anyone?), ‘The X Factor’ finally went live with a 2.5 hour spectacular. It was quite the show, I must say. Some stellar performances, some not-so-great ones, and the elimination of five acts before the show ended. Whew. It was a marathon to the end.
The show started off with the debut of a huge new stage, which is pretty awesome. I’m definitely looking forward to seeing the acts duke it out on that thing from here on out. We had a short introduction of how the show worked, heard Nicole Scherzinger say it was going to break her heart to send one of her acts home, and then the judges were introduced. I’m pretty sure Paula Abdul raided Nicole’s old wardrobe because she was looking like she was dressed for Pussycat Dolls on Ice. But that was neither here nor there. The performances started pretty quickly (there were 17 to get through), so let’s kick off my take on the show with LA Reid’s category: The Boys.
First on stage was Astro, who you might remember from my (not-so) glowing reviews in previous blog entries as Brian Bradley. As he told us a few weeks ago, his stage name is “The Astronomical Kid,” so he’s now going by Astro. Worst decision. Ever. Anyway, Astro comes out on stage looking like a Kanye West/LA Reid hybrid. Did he steal his glasses from LA’s dressing room? He performed his own version of “Jump” by Kris Kross. Sadly, I kind of liked the performance. I know, I know. I’ve been down on this kid since the get-go, so there must be some sort of arsenic seeping into my apartment, causing me to not be able to think clearly, but Astro is an impressive rapper. It pains me to type that. As Oprah would say, “My brain be painin’.” All the judges agreed that Astro tore the roof off the joint, with Nicole telling him he, “Shut it down.” Deep breath. He did shut it down. He has some great rhymes and could keep up with today’s best rappers. That’s for sure. Does he belong in the competition? I still don’t know, but his performance this week definitely made a case for his inclusion. Although, he needs to tone down his cockiness. It’s just too much. Humble pie will get you a lot more friends. Or whatever the saying is.
Second to perform was Chris Rene, who you might remember as the one who was a few weeks sober during his first audition. Now, Chris is six months clean and sober, which I think is pretty amazing. He’s stuck with it to chase his dream, so I have to give him mad props for that. I can’t give Chris mad props for his performance, though. He just wasn’t on pitch through most of his version of Faith Evans and Mary J. Blige’s “Love Don’t Live Here Anymore.” He wasn’t near as good as Astro, so I immediately had to include Astro in the final 12. The judges questioned LA’s song choice for Chris, though Simon Cowell referred to Chris as “100 percent authentic.” Which is true. He does commit to his performance every week. I like Chris, I really do. I just don’t know if he has the stamina to keep going on ’The X Factor,’ especially going against some of the performances later in the show.
The jazztastic stylings of Phillip Lomax were third for LA. After a recent rebirth of my love for Michael Buble, I also experienced a similar reaction for Phillip. I had to revisit some of his past performances, which made me realize how much I really like his voice. This could have curved my bias toward him, but we all have our favorites. LA decided on a version of The Monkees’ “I’m A Believer” for Phillip to sing. The production value for the performance was pretty high. Lots of lighting and dancing went into it all, which also may have skewed my view on everything. However, I really though Phillip was on fire and much better than Chris and Astro. I could listen to his version of the song over and over and over and never get tired of it. Nicole and Paula seemed to agree with my take, but Simon…not so much. His quote: “It’s like you were on a racetrack up there, and LA put you in a tractor.” Ouch. Pretty cold there. I really liked it, and put him as one to definitely go through.
But this was before Marcus Canty took the stage. Remember him? The one who caused Rihanna to freak out because he was so good? Well, he was back and hotter than ever. Within five seconds of Marcus’ R&B version of “Do You Really Want To Hurt Me,” I knew Chris Rene had to go. Right? Marcus made the ladies scream. He was smooth, his voice was spot on, and he had the moves. I kind of want him to sing his name at the beginning of each of his songs like Jason Derulo does. I think that is clearly the right thing to do. The judges loved Marcus, with Nicole telling him, “You make it look too easy.” He did make it look easy. It was like watching a Jason Derulo performance, only with someone who can sing well live.
Four performances down, and the eliminations are jumping right into things. Steve Jones brought all four boys back out on stage and made LA send his top three through, one by one. So…it had to be Chris Rene getting eliminated, right? First, Astro was through. Then Marcus Canty. Then Chris…? What? Not Phillip? Grr. What does this mean? That Simone Battle and Tiah Tolliver will both be through, too? I guess there have been more upsetting eliminations (I’ll bring up Caitlin again), but this one kind of burned. No, Phillip wasn’t going to win, but it would have been nice to get to hear him croon for a few more weeks, at least. Oh well. I’ll just have to vote for people in a different category.
Perhaps one of Paula’s groups? The good thing about these live ’X Factor’ shows is that they are low on the filler and high on the performances. I like it! The Stereo Hogzz were first up for Paula. She picked a version of Otis Redding’s “Try A Little Tenderness” for them, and it was pretty good. Though they were dressed like Next (I really wanted them to do a mash-up of “Too Close” and Blackstreet’s “No Diggity”), The Stereo Hogzz were definitely their own entity. They were a little bit Motown, a little bit Black Eyed Peas, and a whole lot of talent. It was the best I had seen them up to this point. The judges all agreed and had to give Paula credit for doing a good job with them. I really thought Paula’s group selections were going to be pretty bad, but The Stereo Hogzz proved me wrong. Would this hold up?
It would with The Brewer Boys, who were second for Paula’s category. During the package before their performance, Hanson’s “MmmBop” was playing in the background, which gave me a small hope that The Brewer Boys were going to sing it. Alas, they did not. Paula made them sing a mash-up of George Michael’s “Faith” and Hall & Oates’ “Rich Girl.” Did it work? Kind of. The result was more like a Kentucky High School Talent Show production. The choreography around The Brewer Boys while they did their thing was out of place, and I would have liked to have seen them move around a bit more. They were playing instruments, which was cool, but they just weren’t at the same level as The Stereo Hogzz. Simon and LA agreed with my assessment, saying they weren’t blown away and the performance didn’t shine. They were still good, though.
InTENsity was third for Paula, giving her a chance to continue to confirm her ability to coach groups. The main problem I have with this group is that there are too many of them. I’ll never remember all of their names. I just know that little Oksana Baiul doppelganger is in the group. Ten is just too many. Even the S Club knew to stop at eight members. Regardless of my confusion over who was in the group, they did a pretty decent job with their mash-up of Shirley Ellis’ “The Clapping Song” and Kenny Loggins’ “Footloose.” While it was a little High School Musical (where was Ashley Tisdale? Is she a member of InTENsity?), it was a good performance for the most part. One girl in a red coat stood out as the star of the group. The judges liked them. Nicole seemed to want to eat all ten of them when she said, “You’re like my lil’ pumpkin patch of yummy pumpkins.” Hmm. Albeit timely with Halloween right around the corner, I’m not sure Nicole was on the up and up with that statement. Whatever was in her strategically placed Pepsi products cup, I want her to share with me. It must be some goooooood juice. Simon told InTENsity they were like the new young Glee. After this performance, I had to Spotify “The Clapping Song.” It’s a pretty good song. It made me want to run around clapping.
The final of Paula’s groups to perform was country-pop girl group Lakoda Rayne. The last time I saw them, they were having trouble reining in their need to be solo artists. It seemed like Paula really worked with them to stifle this need. She picked “Come On Eileen” for the group to sing. You know, the one American hit from Dexy’s Midnight Runners? Look it up If you don’t remember. Great song. As soon as they stepped on stage, my need for Ashley Tisdale was met, as I forgot one of the group members looks exactly like her! Aside from The Tiz’s look-a-like and more hair extensions than a Kardashian wedding, Lakoda Rayne pretty much tore up their performance. The judges all liked them, with LA and Simon telling them they would sign them immediately. Lakoda Rayne really stepped it up from their Judges’ House appearance. They did NOT make Paula’s job in eliminating a group easy.
After seeing all four groups perform, I must say Paula did an incredible job mentoring all of them. I thought she had the weakest category, but she turned each group into a viable competitor for ’The X Factor.” I really had trouble picking out the worst of the groups, but my gut told me The Brewer Boys would draw the short end of the stick. Was my gut instinct right? Yes. Paula picked the other three groups to go through and sent The Brewer Boys packing. One of them referred to her as Ms. Paula, which I’m not sure is the correct thing to call her. She’s not exactly in the same category as one Ms. Patti LaBelle, but I guess it’s an etiquette thing. Ms. Paula did do a good job.
The next category to perform was Nicole’s Over 30’s. Upon introducing her first act, Ol’ Scherzy (that’s what I call her sometimes) seemed very confused. Must have been that “juice” cup. Share with the class Nicole! She introduced Dexter Haygood with, “Dexter Haygood, y’all,” and a raise the roof motion. She also managed to sound like Maya Rudolph’s impression of Whitney Houston, which made my night that much better. Dexter’s task was a mash-up of Katy Perry’s “I Kissed A Girl” and Britney Spears’ “Womanizer,” which may have been the weirdest combination of songs known to man. But whatever works. However, Dexter didn’t really work it that well. He just kind of screamed on stage. It was like watching Macy Gray when she was on ’Dancing with the Stars.’ You knew it wasn’t good, as was potentially on some sort of mind-altering drugs, but you had to watch anyway. The judges were mixed on Dexter’s performance, as was my mother, as she texted me, “Dexter’s brain is fried.” Quite possibly, Mom.
60-year-old LeRoy Bell had the pleasure of taking the stage after Dexter. I still have trouble believing LeRoy is 60! He is aging better than anyone I have ever seen! Nicole reminded us that LeRoy “represents that dreams never die.” I like that quote. I’ll put it on a board and sell it at Hobby Lobby. Nicole selected Pink’s “Nobody Knows” for LeRoy to sing. And let me tell you: his voice was smooth and hit my soul directly. If I was able to cry, I would have. But I didn’t want to get tears on my grilled cheese, so I sucked it up and didn’t cry. LA and Simon weren’t so sure LeRoy connected with the audience and questioned Nicole’s song selection, but Paula and I were on the same page (scary!) when she said, “Your voice is like velvet,” to him. Then Nicole’s head spun around and she got all sassy with Simon while defending her choices. Sassy Scherzy! I LOVED IT!
Speaking of sassy. How about we talk about Stacy Francis. Her task for the first live week was to take on George Michael’s “One More Try,” and did she ever. First of all, Stacy stepped on the stage and looked hottttt (that’s 5 t’s, which is an indicator of extreme hotness). For me, Stacy’s performance hit my emotions like Jennifer Hudson and Jennifer Holliday did when they sang “And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going” in Dreamgirls. Yeah. For me it was that good. Stacy tore. It. Up. LA and Paula had nothing but supportive things to tell Stacy, but Simon told her she needed a “massive shift in the right direction.” He thinks she needs to be a church singer, while Stacy wants to be a pop star. I think Simon was just out to get Nicole, since Paula isn’t fun to pick on anymore, but Nicole more than stuck up for herself.
The final act for Nicole was former burrito slinger Josh Krajcik. The thing I like most about Josh is that his appearance and progression on ‘The X Factor’ haven’t changed him. He still has the same look and same amazing voice as the first time we saw him audition. However, for the first time, I wasn’t really digging Josh’s performance. He took on a version of Bob Dylan’s “Forever Young,” but I didn’t really feel any ebb and flow or any discernable climax in the song. Maybe that’s what he and Nicole were going for: an understated performance. Either way, I didn’t think it was his best. Luckily, I wasn’t on the Judges’ Panel because I would have been booed out of the building. The judges all loved it with Nicole telling Josh it was “soul stirring.” Maybe my soul was still too stirred up from LeRoy, but I just didn’t feel it.
When it came time for Nicole to eliminate a contestant, I thought it was a pretty easy decision. Get rid of Dexter. But Nicole made faces and moaned about how hard it was going to be and she was just going to wing it. Steve made her cut short her back and forth. The show was only 2.5 hours after all! So Nicole made the right decisions and put through Josh, Stacy and LeRoy, thus eliminating Dexter, who went on to tell America he was stuck in a “21st Century Twilight Zone.” Well, duh, Dexter. That was the most accurate statement I’ve heard in a long time.
After three categories and three eliminations, it was finally time for the category I was most looking forward to: Simon’s girls. Why was I looking forward to it most? Mainly because it contained my favorite contestants, and the two I loved most to hate. So which girl did Simon pick to perform first? One of my love to hate victims, Simone Battle. Simon told the cameras, “This is where the talent starts.” Really, Simon? With Simone? After her performance, I’d think again with that statement. The first problem: Simone was not looking fierce, as she has told us time and time again is her major concern. Being fierce. Perhaps her version of being fierce includes channeling Rainbow Brite in her outfit selection. I guess it could double up as a Halloween costume for when she’s eliminated, but come on. Simone was not sounding so fierce, either, on her version of Deborah Cox’s “Just Be Good To Me.” In fact, it may have been the worst I’d ever heard her sing. Caitlin got eliminated to keep this in? Blasphemy! The judges weren’t so complimentary toward Simone, either. Which made me very, very happy. She was absolutely awful.
The girls took a turn for the better, though, with Simon’s second act, Rachel Crow. Obviously, the real talent started up again AFTER Simone. Simon’s song choice for Rachel was a mash-up of The Supremes’ “Where Did Our Love Go” and Justin Bieber’s “Baby.” I must say Rachel was pretty incredible. For being 14, she definitely knows how to work the stage and can sing with the best of them. However, I wish Simon would give her a song to better show off her range. She can obviously sing, so I want to hear it! All the judges had nothing but nice things to say to Rachel, though they wished Simon would have given her a better song. This is when Simon started fighting, calling Nicole and Paula “Squiddly and Diddly,” which led to a fight between all three. So much drama on ‘The X Factor!’ I can’t get enough of it. It’s almost as fantastic as the cattiness on ‘Project Runway.’ In fact, it may be neck and neck in the amazing category.
Third for Simon was 14-year-old Drew Ryniewicz, who is now just going by Drew. It’s probably because no one can spell Ryniewicz. However, I think she should keep her last name, as Americans need to learn to spell Eastern European names. If I can spell Ukrainian last names that only have one vowel in them, you can learn how to spell Ryniewicz. You can also practice with Polish tennis player Agnieszka Radwanska’s name. Anyway, Drew took on an all-ballad version of Irene Cara’s Academy Award winning song, “Flashdance…What A Feeling.” Let me tell you this: I absolutely LOVED Drew’s version of the song. She was just like a little Diana Vickers up there on the big American ‘X Factor’ stage. LA, Nicole, Paula and Simon all sang Drew’s praises while I clapped like I was in the live audience. Whew. After Rachel and Drew sang, it was clear to me the horrid Simone would be going home.
Someone else who needed to go home long ago? Tiah Tolliver. She was fourth on stage. Simon dedicated her performance to Cruella and and de Vil (Nicole and Paula). I think Simon isn’t aware that they aren’t the only ones who aren’t fans of Tiah. Has he read The Josh Factor blogs? There’s not so much love for Tiah over here, either. Tiah’s song choice was “Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of These).” It saddens me to say that Tiah was all right, though she was nothing compared to Rebecca Ferguson when she sang the song on the British ‘X Factor.’ Tiah was only all right because I think her vocals were turned down lower than the backing track, which hid her inabilities to stay on pitch and in the same key. Also, her staging was really creepy. I know Halloween is right around the corner and all, but I already have nightmares about Tiah, so creepy staging is the last thing I needed. LA, Nicole and Paula saved their least happy comments of the night for Tiah, which angered Simon even more. Those three are just saying what the people want to hear! Tiah needed to get kicked off right after she sang. Like Simone, she was awful, as I knew she would be.
The final performance of the evening was truly a case of saving the best for last. Melanie Amaro was brought back after the other judges got mad at Simon for eliminating her. So in order to prove to everyone the mistake he made, he gave Melanie the opportunity to sing like no one else with Whitney Houston’s “I Have Nothing.” And Melanie brought it! She can sing so much better than anyone else left in the competition. I still have no idea what caused Simon to send her home during the Judges’ Homes round. Really? She’s worse than Simone and Tiah? I think not. I could listen to Melanie sing 24/7. And then some. The audience applause was louder and longer for Melanie than anyone all night, which was well deserved. The judges sang her praises, but would Simon keep her?
The first girl Simon put through was Drew. Then Rachel. Which left Melanie with Tiah and Simone. I had my remote ready to throw at the TV, just in case something awful happened. Simon drew out his last choice and made me think he was going to pick Tiah. My blood started to boil as Simon spoke, and I could feel one of my eyes start to twitch uncontrollably, but then he said Melanie’s name and a huge outburst of negative emotion was averted. Then we bid adieu to Simone and Tiah. Tiah babbled about how it was just the beginning, and Simone announced the launch of her new music video, “He Likes Boys.” That Simone. She’s nothing but a class act. A class act who needs to be expelled and never allowed back in the building. (I watched Simone’s music video, just to give her the benefit of the doubt. Don’t waste your time. It made me dislike her even more, and her penchant for hats needs to end.)
And that brought the first live episode of ‘The X Factor’ to a close. What do you think? Did the judges make any blaring mistakes in their choices? I think for the most part the right choices were made, although I would have exchanged Chris Rene for Phillip Lomax.
Next week, ‘The X Factor’ returns to it’s usual Wednesday and Thursday schedule, so don’t forget to tune in each of those nights at 7. Next week also starts your opportunity to vote for your favorite act! I know I’ll be voting for Melanie Amaro. She’s my choice to win the whole thing. If she doesn’t win, I’ll have to do something…like sing a Christmas song on the Fox 4 morning show the week of the ‘X Factor’ finale. Yes, I am THAT confident Melanie will win the whole thing. Although Drew, Lakoda Rayne or Marcus Canty could sneak in there, too. Who are your favorites so far? Any picks to win?