KANSAS CITY, Mo — It was a tough week in the screening room. Find out which films made the cut and which ones didn’t even score a single popcorn bag.
1) FIFTY SHADES OF GREY (R) (Available Friday, May 8)
Focus Features
RUSS
The big screen adaptation of E.L. James’ kinky S&M bestseller “Fifty Shades of Grey” finally hits home video with a resounding ‘thud.’ It isn’t bad enough to be campy fun and is about as erotic as a cold shower. Dakota Johnson’s beguiling performance is the only thing this movie has going for it. Jamie Dornan as the titular billionaire, however, is as drab as his name. I wanted to use my safe word after the first half hour. “Fifty Shades of Grey” is fifty shades of dull.
SHAWN
There was no way the movie version of “Fifty Shades of Gray” could be good because the book was so poorly written. Whatever, this was more of an event than actual cinema. Too bad it was all too drab and not very sexy to matter. This release is loaded with extras. I mean I’ve never seen so a mediocre title get so overloaded with bonus material.
RUSS: 2 Popcorn Bags
SHAWN: 2 Popcorn Bags
- STILL ALICE (PG-13)
Sony Pictures Classics
RUSS
Julianne Moore’s Oscar-winning performance is the real draw of “Still Alice,” the story of a middle-aged woman suffering from early onset Alzheimer’s disease. Moore and the solid supporting cast make what is otherwise a standard disease-of-the-week movie into something worth remembering.
SHAWN
Julianne Moore is solid. But the movie is a bore. Unfortunately it’s severely generic. But yes, the terrific cast tries to uplift things like a gospel choir on Easter Sunday but the sermon is all wrong.
RUSS: 3 Popcorn Bags
SHAWN: 2 Popcorn Bags
- MORTDECAI (R)
Lionsgate Films
RUSS
It’s hard to pull off the kind of wacky caper comedy that Peter Sellers nailed in the 1960s. Johnny Depp and a terrific cast give “Mortdecai” the old college try, but fail miserably to revive the genre. It lacks the pace, comic timing and charm that the material demands. We’ll have to give the cast a pass on this one. “Mortdecai” is mortifying.
SHAWN
“Mordtecai” is awful. And Johnny Depp is so bad Captain Jack Sparrow would make him walk the plank. Just standard issue extras.
RUSS: 2 Popcorn Bags
SHAWN: 0 Popcorn Bags
Click here to receive weekly emails full of FOX 4′s entertainment news!
What’s our criteria for reviewing a film and awarding the popcorn bag ratings? Click here to find out.
Follow on Twitter: @fox4kc @RussSimmons1 @sedwardskc
